I hope that I have provided the information that you need in order to help you understand many of these spiritual matters. What is really important is that you see that things in the Church are not as they appear on the surface. It is also important for you to understand that there are priests and bishops with valid Holy Orders that will help you have the type of wedding that you want. This includes, of course, assistance in handling any of the situations that hinder your being married properly by a priest or bishop with an undeniably valid ordination.